“Sure”, Is My Favorite Word.

Apr 16, 2018 | caregivers journey | 0 comments

My favorite word, “sure” is simple and easy and not very exciting in the scheme of things but is powerful nevertheless. It has actually helped me change my outlook on lots of stuff including how I respond to the world around me and what gets reflected back. When I answer a question, a request or a suggestion from someone with a simple “sure” everything takes on a warm tone and energy and communicates willingness and enthusiasm. It creates a really nice attitude about whatever is going on. I learned the magic of this little word when I was taking care of my Mom who was diagnosed with dementia. I noticed had that so much of my response to my Mom after she was diagnosed was off base and sounded too abrupt or even nervous. I’m sure impatience was thrown in there too when we had to do something or go somewhere and we struggled because of her condition. I could feel I wasn’t connecting properly and knew I wasn’t doing a very good job communicating. One day my Mom asked me about cookies. She wanted to know if there were any left and could she have one. She had just eaten 5. I looked at her little face turned toward me with such serious expectation and I just smiled and said “sure”! Her whole face lit up. I had struck gold. Not only was I not sweating the small stuff (how important was it that she was well over her cookie quota of the day) I had found a way to communicate all was well and life was good with a little word.  Why wouldn’t I just say “sure” and let her feel the joy of being allowed to have such a simple pleasure? When you say or even text “sure” you can’t help but sound agreeable. It’s such a positive response and people respond accordingly. The beauty of this magical little word is that not only does it make my interaction with everyone more pleasant, it actually helps me let go of resistance to things. When I set myself up to answer “sure”, I’ve asked myself if I can willingly agree to what’s being asks of me and answered that of course that’s fine and don’t worry about it. When it came to my Mom and how I could respond to her, I became aware that the more I could say “sure” to things the more relaxed and happier she would be. Even when I wasn’t that ready to agree to what she wanted. By saying “sure” as often as I could I became more accepting of everything and everybody. I created an atmosphere of acceptance and fun rather than worry or resistance. Another added benefit of “sure” was that it became a quick easy, simple thing for my Mom to understand. As her disease progressed long conversations or sentences became uncomfortable because she would get lost in the overload. “Sure” was to the point and even soothing and was like a salve to her wounded mind. Just the tone and energy around it communicates a safe situation even if the actual word sounds like a foreign language. So, try it out. The next time you are asked for something, or permission, or input or even support, just say “sure”! See if you don’t smile when you say it and get the gift of a smile in return. You, too might might make “sure” your favorite word.    

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