I find myself back in the caregiving saddle. And just like my previous journeys, I find myself prey to all the potholes I’ve been over before. I harbor expectations, try to control situations, worry about the future, and get thrown when the plan doesn’t go according to plan!
You would think by now I’d know the drill. And I do. But that doesn’t stop me from falling right back into old habits or forgetting all the painful lessons I’ve learned from my other caregiving experiences.
Once again, my flexibility and going with the flow abilities need to be dusted off and put back into action. So here are a few friendly reminders for all of us to get back on track and stay there!
1. Go with the flow!
If you want to make the universe laugh, make plans! Sure enough, we were all set to try a new protocol of medication and had been waiting nervously for the first day. The night before we were starting, another annoying ailment cropped up that needed to be addressed and treated and that medication had a negative interaction with the new protocol. Damn. Now we had to wait another week to start the original, new protocol. I felt my blood start to boil and my anxiety creep up into a freak-out level. How silly! I know better. Either let go or be dragged! It was not the end of the earth. Disappointing perhaps, and the relief we were hoping for by just getting started was put off, but why get so invested in a plan that fell through? It would all work out, it wasn’t life-threatening, and we were making sure everything else was taken care of. We had a great team to rely on and tomorrow is another day. Go with the flow! It’s ok to be disappointed but move on! Don’t get stuck in what might have been.
2. Don’t try to do it alone!
Ask for help, ask for help, ask for help. Why do I insist on trying to do everything by myself??? I mean I’m good at stuff and that’s wonderful but there are so many smart, supportive people available to and around me. Why shouldn’t I just get over myself and reach out to them? Almost every single time I ask for help, people jump right in and I am immediately relieved. It takes a village to care for someone, so don’t be stubborn, proud, or guilty about asking for help. The more you do it the better it gets!
3. Stop trying to be perfect!
My perfectionism causes procrastination and paralysis. If I wait until I can do something perfectly it will never get done. And if I’m afraid to make mistakes I won’t do anything at all. We are all human and make mistakes. If it were not for my mistakes, I wouldn’t be as smart as I am! I learn more from my mistakes than anything. So, by just showing up and doing my best, I’m ahead of the game. It always works out the way it’s supposed to.
4, Be self-aware.
When I’m aware of how I’m feeling emotionally and physically I can pretty much avoid any anguish I would otherwise be headed for. Acknowledging early physical signs of tension, fatigue, and pain or emotional states of anger, fear, or grief before they become problematic can save me lots of heartache and discomfort. Taking my emotional temperature and paying attention to how I feel in my body helps me know when I need to rest, recharge, or regroup. If I pay attention to the signals my mind and body are sending me, I can avoid the train wreck of burnout.
We all know the stress that we experience as Caregiver Warriors can bring us to our knees. Even the wisest and most experienced of us are vulnerable to fatigue, stress, and emotional upheaval. Even though we think we know how to care for ourselves, we have a built-in forgetter that can cause us to neglect ourselves. Use these tips and tactics to remind you every day to care for yourself as you care for others! Self-care works if you work it and work it you must!
If you like this article, you’ll love this one too! Please share if you care! Let’s save one caregiver at a time together!
What to Do When Self Care Doesn’t Feel Good!
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