Caregivers Journey
I remember one dreary exhausting Sunday at my parents’ apartment. I had a million things left to do, I was running late and my mom had given me a really hard time earlier in the day when I was bathing her in the shower. I needed to leave in the next few hours for my 2 hour bumper to bumper commute back to my apartment and felt like was a hamster on a spinning wheel. I had settled both of my parents in bed for a nap and was cleaning the bathroom after an accident had occurred. I went to go back into the kitchen for more paper towels. As I passed through my parents bedroom and looked over at them laying there fast asleep I stopped. My dad was laying as he always did on his stomach with his one foot stuck outside the covers. Something inside of me broke open and I caught my breath. I thought to myself how cute he looked, how much I loved him and how comfortable they both appeared to be in the bed they had shared for over 60 years. I told myself to take a picture in my mind of the two of them right then and there. It was a memory I would need to keep forever because there would soon be a day when they would no longer be with me. I found myself overwhelmed with gratitude that they were alive and I still had time with them. I became humbled by the realization that each moment and day were precious. I then began to realize I had so many things to be grateful for. My dad was feeling better, we were able to keep my mom home, I had a great support system and so far I was strong enough and healthy enough to handle this. The bills were paid, they had a lovely apartment and although life was a challenge they were happy and felt safe. I was able to slow it down and spend a lovely rest of the day with them when they woke from their naps. They noticed I was extra attentive and responded with gratitude of their own. Sadly my parents have both passed but I can bring forth that memory right now of my dad laying there with his foot out of the covers and that moment in time when I stopped to be grateful. It’s a reminder of the good days of my caregiving journey when I was present and could appreciate all the gifts I was receiving and the memories I was making. From that moment on I tried to form a habit of looking for those things I have to be grateful for. I wasn’t always able to find the place of gratitude automatically or easily but when I could my life found new meaning and I felt blessed. Stop and take a good look at your loved ones. They can leave us so quickly and you will wish you had this moment back. Don’t get sidetracked by rushing around to get it all done. Stop and see what’s really happening and enjoy the good in the present moment. If you can, look around and find something to be grateful for. Make a list. Gratitude is a miraculous and joyful thing. It can wash away a bad day and show us a path to serenity and joy. It has a energy all it’s own and when we are grateful we walk in grace. Sent from my iPhone
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