It’s safe to say that a caregivers plate is usually very full. Scrambling to make everything work and everyone safe and comfortable takes extraordinary effort. There isn’t much left over for added duties, requests or responsibilities. So when someone comes along and asks us to do something that we really don’t have the time or energy to do, it is truly in our best interest to just say “no”. Otherwise, we might be stretched well beyond limits, end up feeling resentful and overwhelmed and forced to take valuable time away from something important. Our time is precious.
So rather than committing to things and people we don’t have time for, we can protect the delicate balance of time and energy we work so hard to achieve by saying “No, thank you”! Interestingly enough, saying no can be difficult, especially for caregivers. We don’t want to upset those we love or make them feel rejected, and we feel guilty that we can’t help everyone. After all, one of our greatest attributes is our ability to help and care for those we love. I want to help you with this dilemma, so I have come up a few suggestions that can make saying no to people and things a little easier.
1. Don’t beat around the bush
I know in my gut pretty quickly when I’m being asked to do something I can’t do or don’t want to do. So I find the faster I answer with my no the easier it is to move on. It’s harder to deal with if I put it off. I need to listen to my heart and take myself off the hook as quickly as possible.
2. What to say
I always try to be polite and gracious but firm. I can give an explanation but don’t have to over explain. No is a complete sentence. Saying something like, “I don’t have the time now to give this the attention it needs. I’ll let you know if that changes” is simple, to the point and gives the power back to me. I’m the one that decides if I can help out in the future. It closes the door on more negotiate or a repeat request for my help in the future.
3. Understand you are entitled.
Just because I say no, I’m not a bad person, nor am I rejecting or insulting the person I am saying no to. If I am polite, clear and honest, I have acted in everyone’s best interest, especially mine. I’m entitled to set up boundaries. If someone tries to make me feel guilty they do not have my best interest at heart. Saying yes because I feel intimidated or I’m afraid to say no doesn’t do anyone any favors. When I say no with good reason, I am taking care of myself, those I care, and even those who ask me for something I cannot give.
Making sure I take care of myself as I care for others allows me to be my best at all times. I find that people usually understand how busy I am in my caregiving role and respect my time, attention and boundaries. For those occasions when I am presented with requests that may put demands on my time and energy, I deserve the right to say no. No one needs to be at fault, and I give myself permission to do what’s best for me. By graciously saying no, I am making sure I stay in healthy, top form. Saying no is a great tool that gets better with practice. Good Luck!
0 Comments