Life Can Be Challenging | Reach Out
I believe everyone has days when they wake up lost and frightened, feeling hopeless and that they just cannot go on. Even those hardy glass half full type of people have life throw them a curve ball and stunned and perhaps in pain or grief they look at the future and can’t begin to see a way out of the darkness. Some of us are more prone to worry and anxiety and struggle on a daily basis to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Some of us have debilitating sadness or depression and must courageously find a way to pick up the pieces every day. Life can be challenging and the world at large today can feel like a scary place. Add in the responsibilities of caregiving and the universe can feel like it’s conspiring against us. While there is no easy answer to finding relief from these legitimate feelings and circumstances and everyone is different and often professional help and support may be needed, I have found in my life that by taking small measures that add up I can sometimes navigate my life and survive the storms of hopelessness. While there are no easy answers, here’s a few of those measures and actions that I have found helpful.
7 Helpful tips
1. Keep moving! My Dad was so good at getting through the worst of times and he would always say “keep movin”! Getting up out of bed and out of the house always makes me feel better. When I lay in bed going over and over the things that feel insurmountable or upsetting I am only making myself feel worse. The same thing applies to hanging around the house dreading going out. If and when I can I get out of house and “blow some stink off me” as they used to say, I always feel better. It forces me to socialize and get out in the distractions of the world.
2. Exercise! We hear this all the time. Get up and exercise! It’s really true however, that when we exercise everything changes including our physical and mental states. I feel good about myself and I really do feel like those endorphins that are released help me relax. Even if you can’t go out to the gym, a walk around the block, or even in the hallways of a hospital or stretching and aerobics in the living room do the trick. I am a big fan of YouTube videos of exercise that I can do in my living room. Try a yoga class. Yoga can heal the body and the soul.
3. Meditate. Even for 10 minutes a day, sitting still and going within will, over time, bring amazing benefits. Meditation is not about doing it perfectly or finding nirvana or even erasing the sadness. It’s about taking the time to try and breathe and be aware of the present moment. There are wonderful instructional videos and information out there about meditating and lots of free classes available. There are even guided medications online and on YouTube. We can all find 10 minutes somewhere in our day.
4. Music. I can go on forever about the healing power of music. We all have favorite music to listen to. Play it! Crank up the parts you love and even dance around if you can and want to.
5. Talk to someone. Reach out and connect with someone who supports and loves you. Make that phone call and call often. You won’t feel so alone and crazy. It’s amazing how better I can feel after I hang up with someone who gets me and supports me. My whole day gets brighter.
6. Have a good conversation with yourself. Soothe yourself. If you are judging or beating yourself up please stop it. Don’t let yourself feel bad about feeling bad. All of us get down and sad and anxious sometimes. When I am anxious I try and acknowledge the anxious state I’m in by telling myself that I am just anxious, that this is how I get sometimes, it will pass and I’m ok. By labeling it and accepting it I shine light on it and it’s not as painful.
7. Seek help. Getting professional help is not defeat or a sign of weakness. Getting help is about self love and radical self care. You are entitled to relief and support and deserve it more than anyone. If you broke your arm you would go to the doctor and have it set. When your heart is broken seeking help to heal it is just as legitimate. If you feel you are in need of professional guidance there are so many options available. A family doctor, priest, minister, or rabbi can help and also recommend a therapist or organization that can give you the support you need. Honor yourself during times of struggle. All of us will at some time in our lives be faced with sadness and the feeling of defeat. Yet each one of us makes such a unique and special contribution to the world around us that we deserve to be comforted until we can be hopeful once again. Know that you are not crazy or alone and that even angels and super heroes need time to rest and recuperate. We are not robots or machines with endless resources. We must give ourselves permission to re-group and re-fuel and if we acknowledge this and take the time to do so we can regain our footing and get the strength to carry on. Be good to yourself! Especially now. You are wonderful and deserving.
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