So often the blogs I post here are full of tips and tricks that make caregiving easier and hopefully help caregivers feel less alone and scared. These are usually things that I learned, discover or invented to make my personal caregiving journey less stressful and more about the wonder than the worry. I hope people find comfort here.
Rather than offer things to consider in this blog I just wanted to share what I’m feeling. During this season, which growing up for me was always about something bigger than our normal life, I get real mushy, sentimental and truly appreciative of all the good around me. But in the last few years a deep sadness and longing has been added into the mix because of the loss of my parents and other family members and loved ones. They are no longer here in front of me to gush over or buy presents for or to spend precious time with. I know they are still with me and believe me I do feel them, but any way you shake it, it’s not the same. It hurts.
I go over memories of snow crunching under my feet on my Nana’s street, the smells from her kitchen, the round bulb lights on our Christmas tree, the laughter, driving to meet my best friend in Philly where we would carry on until closing time, my little sisters dirty laugh, her squeals of delight, the bloody Mary’s during late breakfast.
The good news is, the memories that hurt me the most now are the good ones, not the ones that used to cause me so much heartache because those I loved were in pain, or suffering or scared. Time has done me a favor.
So this season I just want to mention this hole in my heart not only for me but for those who have it too. Just to let you know you are not alone. As caregivers we have each other. As those left behind, we have each other even more.
May all of my dear and brave Caregiver Warriors and their families out there have the most joyous of Holidays. You are always on my mind and I pray to the powers that be that you are safe, warm, and can find some time to feel joy and happiness. May your memories shine with wonder and magic. May your heart heal and be still during this special time. I am honored to know you and share this special place in the world we have together. You make this world a better place and I swear I see your wings.
Much Love.
Beautiful thoughts
Much love!