Life On Hold
In contrast to other times in my life today I do not feel overwhelmed. I have a lot on my plate but the feeling that I am going to freak out because I just cannot get everything done and I will die is not with me. Which made think about all the times when I am Caregiving and I do feel overwhelmed and that my life is being swallowed by my responsibilities. It is then that I feel that life is a vast ocean I am swimming in and I am about to drown at any moment. I am in a constant state of scrambling for my life. Which can cause me to put my life on hold and lose myself to those I am serving. As overwhelmed as I can be, I must never let this happen. So word to the wise…do not put your life on hold! You must never put your hopes and dreams and the things you do to enjoy a rich and full life on hold while you are a Caregiver Warrior. The stakes are too high if you do. I know you will think that it is impossible to do things you love¬†because of all the things you need to accomplish for others but I am telling you it can be done. Somehow the universe gives you space and time to have and do things for yourself when it would seem there is no time left. It is after you take care of yourself and your own life that you can take care of others. The sense of fulfillment and joy you get from doing things you love gives you strength and calms the waters. In my case, I love animals and horses and rode every Sunday morning while taking care of my parents. I found the time and the strength. Miraculously, there was a group of women that rode with me every week and every single one of them was a Caregiver Warrior! We would ride around the property for an hour or so and just share our experiences and compare notes. We would laugh and cry and discuss everything we were going through. It was amazing! It filled my emotional bank account up and gave me enormous comfort and joy. I made friendships there that I will have the rest of my life. I kept to this schedule until the end. As my parent‚Äôs needs increased I was able to find friends and family to sit with my parents or check in with them while I enjoyed my hobby. People appeared out of nowhere to stay with my parents while I rode. I truly believe those few hours I stole for myself saved me and gave me the ability to keep going even when I thought I had nothing left to give. My Sunday morning reprieve gave me hope and solace and filled me up so I didn’t feel resentful that my life was on hold. My mom and dad were so happy I took that time for myself and I always came back with stories they loved to hear. Even my mom would smile and laugh at my stories even when she had retreated into herself as her dementia worsened. So the gift I gave myself was a gift to them in many ways. My dad was a bombardier pilot and loved to fly. When he passed away I went out that weekend to ride as usual. Two things happened which I believe was the universe’s way of endorsing my self-care. My horse Scooby laid his head against my leg when I went to get him and rested it there for more than a minute. It was as though he was bowing his head in sympathy and telling me he was so sad for me.¬†Then as we were riding, a little plane from the local small airport flew in circles around us as we were riding around. I believe it was my dad saying hi to me and telling me how happy he was I was riding. To this day planes always fly by and “buzz” us whenever I ride on a Sunday, only now there are always two of them since my mom passed away. Had I stopped taking that joyful time for myself I would never have had all the wonderful memories or mini vacations I so desperately needed. My love of riding and my wonderful support system nourished my need for self-care and fulfillment and allowed me to be a better Caregiver Warrior. Instead of feeling robbed I felt grateful and blessed and my Sunday afternoons were easier, happier and calmer. Since I had given time to myself I had more to give to my loved ones. Find something that floats your boat and gives you joy. Then do it like nobody’s watching. You will be shocked at how it will fit into your schedule and how it will benefit your life and those around you. Remember you are giving extraordinary service and deserve to have time to yourself. Give yourself permission to enjoy your life instead of abandoning it for the sake of someone else.
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