Caregivers Journey
There are times when you just have to let go and let God (Good Orderly Direction) and just focus your attention on something else. So often when all my calls to doctors offices, insurance companies, physical therapists and social workers were not netting any results I was left exhausted. The irony was that most of my exhaustion was due to my frustration 
and anger that things were not going my way. I can get myself so worked up that I think the whole world is against me and made up of idiots who are out to get me. I’m like a dog with a bone who won’t let go and I’m miserable. So like it or not I have had to accept the fact that it is time to take a day off and let all the great work I have laid down catch up to me. I don’t know what is harder, continuing to pound away at everyone to get what I want or to back off for a day. Being a control freak I’m most comfortable taking action and pushing my way through everything even though quite often I was forcing the problem not the looking for the solution. Taking a good look at my habit of forcing my will on everything and everybody helped me to see the difference between when I was getting somewhere with my appropriate actions and when I was banging my head against a wall trying to do it my way on my time. I had to work on finding a balance between my need for things to be resolved immediately and the reality that the universe did not always run my way or on my time schedule. As I got better at the balance I wasn’t so twisted up in knots all the time and having a day off from forcing the issue actually allowed me to re-group. The added benefit was that things actually could fall into place, calls were returned and the outcome was better than expected! Granted, it’s often the case that the situation is serious or critical and we need immediate action and answers to our questions right away. In those cases persistence is always beneficial and letting things go is not an option. But even in those cases getting angry and frustrated thwarts our efforts and I believe can actually delay a quick resolution. So the secret here lies in the ability to accept the situation as it unfolds and not take it as a personal attack if it doesn’t go smoothly. Holding on to our self worthiness and being kind to ourselves by acknowledging that we are doing the absolute best we can at each step of the way gives us the permission to sometimes give it rest and walk away for a minute. We are all trying to do everything we can and we must trust that the process is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to. Give yourself and the situation a break and know that all is well. It’s a much calmer and actually more efficient way to get things done. Knowing when to push and when to back off is never easy but if we feel our frustration level hitting a hysterical high it’s time to take that well deserved break and trust both ourselves and the universe and know it will all work out eventually. We need to preserve our energy at all times so let go if you need to and remember to give yourself credit for all the work you’ve already done. It will pay off, I guarantee it.
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